I live longer and the more alone I become. I wake up alone feeling like every relationship is a failure. I keep picking the wrong person to partnership with. Happiness is short lived. Only roads I walk are dark and promisingly lingered with uncertainty fuck this life
Sunday, August 8, 2021
Monday, January 6, 2020
Cougar women and their younger counterparts
Sticky lips from his sex in my mouth is quite delightful. I admit it I am perverted. I’m lustful and sexually heightened by the idea that I am his first real sexual experience. I am 39 and he is 21. I needed someone in my life who is just as hyper sexual.
My sexual perversions come from young sex abuse or incestous sex. I was molested for many years groomed by men and women. My innocence and beauty attracted these people who made sex my ego. I never said anything I would just get my vagina and clitoris touched to the brink of orgasm and denied so I can later be watched masturbating to orgasm and punished for not waiting. My vagina would throb at such a young age I desired the touch and enjoyed the spankings even when I was caught right before orgasm. The spankings would be hard and I cried from humiliation of urinating myself from the lashes. The pee would stream from between my thick legs. My vagina would be wet and I tried to cross my legs so I wouldn’t piss myself. I would scream from the stinging lashes I beg to use the toilet. I received laughs and insults and then I was told to spread my legs.
How cruel....I obeyed. And the beatings continued then I felt the pee leaving my bladder into the carpet in front of company. The adults looked on with lust and the same ones who would later sneak in my room and reached into my soiled panties later to allow me the orgasm I needed and laughed as I came.....four times each one came in and took turns and each I orgasmed. How much I was loved.
Now I’m my own person sometimes I want him to do this to me. Spank me choke me make me watch you fuck other hot young women in front of me. Make me drink their piss and ride my face as a toilet tissue. Suck my nipples while My face becomes her dildo.
My sexual perversions come from young sex abuse or incestous sex. I was molested for many years groomed by men and women. My innocence and beauty attracted these people who made sex my ego. I never said anything I would just get my vagina and clitoris touched to the brink of orgasm and denied so I can later be watched masturbating to orgasm and punished for not waiting. My vagina would throb at such a young age I desired the touch and enjoyed the spankings even when I was caught right before orgasm. The spankings would be hard and I cried from humiliation of urinating myself from the lashes. The pee would stream from between my thick legs. My vagina would be wet and I tried to cross my legs so I wouldn’t piss myself. I would scream from the stinging lashes I beg to use the toilet. I received laughs and insults and then I was told to spread my legs.
How cruel....I obeyed. And the beatings continued then I felt the pee leaving my bladder into the carpet in front of company. The adults looked on with lust and the same ones who would later sneak in my room and reached into my soiled panties later to allow me the orgasm I needed and laughed as I came.....four times each one came in and took turns and each I orgasmed. How much I was loved.
Now I’m my own person sometimes I want him to do this to me. Spank me choke me make me watch you fuck other hot young women in front of me. Make me drink their piss and ride my face as a toilet tissue. Suck my nipples while My face becomes her dildo.
Thursday, January 25, 2018
Dear Heroin User
Coming through here again was like putting my hand on a hot stove for a second time. First time small burn, second time, the skin peeled off. Yeah. It is that time to reflect. No amount of money will ever take away the fact that you sir, are not a good resource for me. I hope you like heroin as much as you like prison. Locked away in your own thoughts....
You think you know what you're doing. But I know better.
I know being resentful is a stresser. But honestly, it brings me satisfaction to watch it burn in front of my face. like a slow ember burning leaves on a cool autumn day. Die you little fucker, please don't bring flies to my door.
Her mouth is a gaping worm hole as her fingers text me with sarcasm and belittlement. Her fear is so strong I can smell it from miles away. Her tears are as dry as her veins which she shoots with heroin. And you are her escape with a bundle of powdered joy. For every needle you give and the stabs to my heart will forever be your demise.
Good riddance to you. Your smile now holds an empty darkened space where a set of pearly whites once resided. The demons you tried so hard to ridden of are now your best friends, they tickle you at night, don't they? Your skin is now paled and ashen, the similarity of you and Edward Cullen is definitely visible. Do you sparkle in the light, cold one?
When you seek warmth, does the bundles of powdered death make you forget how alone you really are in your parent's basement of solitude and resentment?
1. Self-loathing is your best trait, no love given there.
2. With ever penny your mother earns is now thrown on a spoon and cooked straight into your arteries. No love given there.
3. Lies come naturally, like breathing. No remorse for the contradictory statements you have made. Yeah, no love given there.
4. When you say, "I love you" you mean the juice, right? The one that flows through you as your loved ones cry at night in their beds and wondering why they are left with a burden of guilt for a self indulgence you chose for your own pleasure and leisure. No love given there.
So please, don't wonder why I did not come to your awake or grave burial. I already said, R.I.P when you chose the heroin over me. I already said, R.I.P when I laid alone at night crying myself to sleep when you chose another junkie who was married, to share your drug induced binges with and made her your special princess. So again, R.I.P.
You think you know what you're doing. But I know better.
I know being resentful is a stresser. But honestly, it brings me satisfaction to watch it burn in front of my face. like a slow ember burning leaves on a cool autumn day. Die you little fucker, please don't bring flies to my door.
Her mouth is a gaping worm hole as her fingers text me with sarcasm and belittlement. Her fear is so strong I can smell it from miles away. Her tears are as dry as her veins which she shoots with heroin. And you are her escape with a bundle of powdered joy. For every needle you give and the stabs to my heart will forever be your demise.
Good riddance to you. Your smile now holds an empty darkened space where a set of pearly whites once resided. The demons you tried so hard to ridden of are now your best friends, they tickle you at night, don't they? Your skin is now paled and ashen, the similarity of you and Edward Cullen is definitely visible. Do you sparkle in the light, cold one?
When you seek warmth, does the bundles of powdered death make you forget how alone you really are in your parent's basement of solitude and resentment?
1. Self-loathing is your best trait, no love given there.
2. With ever penny your mother earns is now thrown on a spoon and cooked straight into your arteries. No love given there.
3. Lies come naturally, like breathing. No remorse for the contradictory statements you have made. Yeah, no love given there.
4. When you say, "I love you" you mean the juice, right? The one that flows through you as your loved ones cry at night in their beds and wondering why they are left with a burden of guilt for a self indulgence you chose for your own pleasure and leisure. No love given there.
So please, don't wonder why I did not come to your awake or grave burial. I already said, R.I.P when you chose the heroin over me. I already said, R.I.P when I laid alone at night crying myself to sleep when you chose another junkie who was married, to share your drug induced binges with and made her your special princess. So again, R.I.P.
Sunday, November 5, 2017
Come within.
Give me a piece of your mind then, oh yes, we can't win
Not any flesh of sin; go ahead daddy take another sip of that gin
No one cares, while you are deep within, yes daddy deep within
That carnal flesh....oh gee this is the life we live in. Lips are sealed
No touch is just any touch, they take, we breathe and take it all in.
Yes, Honey, this is the life we live in. Get used, like honey, they lick it up
the bees are watching, buzzing around me watching me cum.
As he suckles the honey off my tender nipples. Only this big bad boy, teeth gone, only he can defile me into perfect sin. So sick, bugs crawling in the skin I live in.
No girls allowed, waiting to be punished for the taste of my women still in my mouth,
and the tongues of shadowed serpents so sharp like daggers
come into the darkened room to compete with him to
taste the flesh between my legs, hands all over me like sticky honey
This is the world we live in.
Your lips so soft, I close my eyes the light is so bright, soft wind
touching my fingertips like soft petals of the peonies. You are the petals to my lips
the warmth of your soul dancing against my skin; yearning to be free
by my touch, and whispers as I get closer to your throbbing sex.
Not any flesh of sin; go ahead daddy take another sip of that gin
No one cares, while you are deep within, yes daddy deep within
That carnal flesh....oh gee this is the life we live in. Lips are sealed
No touch is just any touch, they take, we breathe and take it all in.
Yes, Honey, this is the life we live in. Get used, like honey, they lick it up
the bees are watching, buzzing around me watching me cum.
As he suckles the honey off my tender nipples. Only this big bad boy, teeth gone, only he can defile me into perfect sin. So sick, bugs crawling in the skin I live in.
No girls allowed, waiting to be punished for the taste of my women still in my mouth,
and the tongues of shadowed serpents so sharp like daggers
come into the darkened room to compete with him to
taste the flesh between my legs, hands all over me like sticky honey
This is the world we live in.
Your lips so soft, I close my eyes the light is so bright, soft wind
touching my fingertips like soft petals of the peonies. You are the petals to my lips
the warmth of your soul dancing against my skin; yearning to be free
by my touch, and whispers as I get closer to your throbbing sex.
Wednesday, March 1, 2017
Broken.
I have been going through alot with Alison and dealing with my sister. She decided to get an Apartment with Ali. And Ali lied to me so many times, and said that she didn't want to move in my sister. But my spiteful sister decided to go live on Facebook and Alison was all smiles. I am tired of it all. I will not ever associate with my sister as long as I live. I have to move again back upstate and change my phone number.
I just want to cut myself and feel the blood pour from my arm. Just rip out my heart and never care again.
I just want to cut myself and feel the blood pour from my arm. Just rip out my heart and never care again.
Sunday, July 10, 2016
Laziness and just more laziness.
If you have a partner who is just plain lazy, and doesn't care for anything...leave them where they stand. All they will do is use you to suit their laziness.
No showering
No 50/50 on sex
No Career or College motivation
Justifies their laziness by making excuses and blaming on others.
RUN. AS. FAST AS YOU CAN.
No showering
No 50/50 on sex
No Career or College motivation
Justifies their laziness by making excuses and blaming on others.
RUN. AS. FAST AS YOU CAN.
Saturday, June 25, 2016
You're the King
I am sitting in my car listening to Rob Zombie craving you again. It's been 8 years since you fucked me over. Yeah, you. My sexy fucking King. How could you dismiss me, for her? What does she have that I don't? Keep pretending like you don't want me to ride your king strap like a pro. I want nothing more than a hot night of passionate steamy sex, let our bodies collide into a perfection of lust. Forget about her for one day. I want you and I know you want me too. You owe me that much.
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