I aways wondered what is the obsession with men marrying or dating women who are clueless to life? And only live to fulfill the reproduction prophecy? Whatever happened to meeting a woman who can travel to many places with her mind? I miss seeing intelligent men who are mentally driven to grown further with life.
I will admit I prefer middle eastern men that are intelligent and american speaking of course! I just don't like it when my mind keeps drifting off...to him.Why? Why is he in my head. He doesn't like me, he doesn't want anything to do with me. It hurts still and I want to get over him, what do I do. I miss his scent, his hair...oh god, his hair I loved it. I could see myself with this guy having his kids and being old together. He wanted dates and fancy places. I am a hermit. I admit it I go out to school and places but right back here. I don't like City lifestyles, however I'll go visit and come right back to the suburbs. I like my peace and quiet. I am not a fast go lucky kinda person, however I will put up a fight when someone is wrong.
I like going places when I want to go. I'm not an outside person. I have my reasons with one of them being I am mostly deaf, not completely because I have 40% hearing. But treated like dirt growing up has made me hyper-sensitive and paranoid to other humans. and not to mention large crowds of people who are obnoxious busy bodies make me nauseous, dizzy and anxiety kicks in. I am also fat. Yep. So that doesn't help me any.
However, when I am around other invalids like myself I tend to feel secular and more confident and give others the same false hope I was given, not in a mean way but more like let's make this false hope a reality. and so I go back home to my DCUO world and live as a super hero or villain depending on the mood. When you're bullied growing up it is a disease it leads to you becoming similar to your abusers. Now kids that bully other kids are being bullied at home or by someone they trust.
So unhappiness is what we are facing here. And it will not go away just because you have a new job or won the lotto. It'll be there permanently cored in your subconscious that eats away at you because deep down you've been skull fucked. It is the truth. And sadly, no one wants to admit it like, "Hey, yeah Big Joe used to put my tighty- whites over my head and hang me from my locker, so now I do it to my 5 yr old son."
Well I am off to do laundry and relax no school today. I got my books and I am quite content with my choices. I want to be over excited but then is that the way people normally behave over education? I want to earn a doctorate. I know I am at the bottom of the sea next to spongebob but hopefully I can arise if I live that long.
I will admit I prefer middle eastern men that are intelligent and american speaking of course! I just don't like it when my mind keeps drifting off...to him.Why? Why is he in my head. He doesn't like me, he doesn't want anything to do with me. It hurts still and I want to get over him, what do I do. I miss his scent, his hair...oh god, his hair I loved it. I could see myself with this guy having his kids and being old together. He wanted dates and fancy places. I am a hermit. I admit it I go out to school and places but right back here. I don't like City lifestyles, however I'll go visit and come right back to the suburbs. I like my peace and quiet. I am not a fast go lucky kinda person, however I will put up a fight when someone is wrong.
I like going places when I want to go. I'm not an outside person. I have my reasons with one of them being I am mostly deaf, not completely because I have 40% hearing. But treated like dirt growing up has made me hyper-sensitive and paranoid to other humans. and not to mention large crowds of people who are obnoxious busy bodies make me nauseous, dizzy and anxiety kicks in. I am also fat. Yep. So that doesn't help me any.
However, when I am around other invalids like myself I tend to feel secular and more confident and give others the same false hope I was given, not in a mean way but more like let's make this false hope a reality. and so I go back home to my DCUO world and live as a super hero or villain depending on the mood. When you're bullied growing up it is a disease it leads to you becoming similar to your abusers. Now kids that bully other kids are being bullied at home or by someone they trust.
So unhappiness is what we are facing here. And it will not go away just because you have a new job or won the lotto. It'll be there permanently cored in your subconscious that eats away at you because deep down you've been skull fucked. It is the truth. And sadly, no one wants to admit it like, "Hey, yeah Big Joe used to put my tighty- whites over my head and hang me from my locker, so now I do it to my 5 yr old son."
Well I am off to do laundry and relax no school today. I got my books and I am quite content with my choices. I want to be over excited but then is that the way people normally behave over education? I want to earn a doctorate. I know I am at the bottom of the sea next to spongebob but hopefully I can arise if I live that long.
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