Thursday, January 25, 2018

Dear Heroin User

Coming through here again was like putting my hand on a hot stove for a second time. First time small burn, second time, the skin peeled off. Yeah. It is that time to reflect. No amount of money will ever take away the fact that you sir, are not a good resource for me. I hope you like heroin as much as you like prison. Locked away in your own thoughts....

 You think you know what you're doing. But I know better.

I know being resentful is a stresser. But honestly, it brings me satisfaction to watch it burn in front of my face. like a slow ember burning leaves on a cool autumn day. Die you little fucker, please don't bring flies to my door.

Her mouth is a gaping worm hole as her fingers text me with sarcasm and belittlement. Her fear is so strong I can smell it from miles away. Her tears are as dry as her veins which she shoots with heroin. And you are her escape with a bundle of powdered joy. For every needle you give and the stabs to my heart will forever be your demise.

Good riddance to you. Your smile now holds an empty darkened space where a set of pearly whites once resided. The demons you tried so hard to ridden of are now your best friends, they tickle you at night, don't they? Your skin is now paled and ashen, the similarity of you and Edward Cullen is definitely visible. Do you sparkle in the light, cold one?

When you seek warmth, does the bundles of powdered death make you forget how alone you really are in your parent's basement of solitude and resentment?

1. Self-loathing is your best trait, no love given there.

2. With ever penny your mother earns is now thrown on a spoon and cooked straight into your arteries. No love given there.

3. Lies come naturally, like breathing. No remorse for the contradictory statements you have made. Yeah, no love given there.

4. When you say, "I love you" you mean the juice, right? The one that flows through you as your loved ones cry at night in their beds and wondering why they are left with a burden of guilt for a self indulgence you chose for your own pleasure and leisure. No love given there.

So please, don't wonder why I did not come to your awake or grave burial. I already said, R.I.P when you chose the heroin over me. I already said, R.I.P when I laid alone at night crying myself to sleep when you chose another junkie who was married, to share your drug induced binges with and made her your special princess. So again, R.I.P.

Sunday, November 5, 2017

Come within.

Give me a piece of your mind then, oh yes, we can't win
Not any flesh of sin; go ahead daddy take another sip of that gin
No one cares, while you are deep within, yes daddy deep within
That carnal flesh....oh gee this is the life we live in. Lips are sealed
No touch is just any touch, they take, we breathe and take it all in.

Yes, Honey, this is the life we live in. Get used, like honey, they lick it up
the bees are watching, buzzing around me watching me cum.
As he suckles the honey off my tender nipples. Only this big bad boy, teeth gone, only he can defile me into perfect sin. So sick, bugs crawling in the skin I live in.

No girls allowed, waiting to be punished for the taste of  my women still in my mouth,
and the tongues of shadowed serpents so sharp like daggers
come into the darkened room to compete with him to
taste the flesh between my legs, hands all over me like sticky honey
This is the world we live in.

Your lips so soft, I close my eyes the light is so bright, soft wind
touching my fingertips like soft petals of the peonies. You are the petals to my lips
the warmth of your soul dancing against my skin; yearning to be free
by my touch, and whispers as I get closer to your throbbing sex.

Wednesday, March 1, 2017


I have been going through alot with Alison and dealing with my sister. She decided to get an Apartment with Ali. And Ali lied to me so many times, and said that she didn't want to move in my sister. But my spiteful sister decided to go live on Facebook and Alison was all smiles. I am tired of it all. I will not ever associate with my sister as long as I live. I have to move again back upstate and change my phone number.

I just want to cut myself and feel the blood pour from my arm. Just rip out my heart and never care again.

Sunday, July 10, 2016

Laziness and just more laziness.

If you have a partner who is just plain lazy, and doesn't care for anything...leave them where they stand. All they will do is use you to suit their laziness.

No showering
No 50/50 on sex
No Career or College motivation
Justifies their laziness by making excuses and blaming on others.


Saturday, June 25, 2016

You're the King

I am sitting in my car listening to Rob Zombie craving you again. It's been 8 years since you fucked me over. Yeah, you. My sexy fucking King. How could you dismiss me, for her? What does she have that I don't? Keep pretending like you don't want me to ride your king strap like a pro. I want nothing more than a hot night of passionate steamy sex, let our bodies collide into a perfection of lust. Forget about her for one day. I want you and I know you want me too. You owe me that much.

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Butch women who lie about being raped.

Today I am blogging about rape and women who lie about it. Today so many different types of men are registered for sex offenses. The varies of the crimes goes from, sex offenses against children and teenagers, such as, date rape to statutory rape and adult women and indecent exposure. No matter which laws are broken, these men are labeled for life.

Well today, this topic is going to be a little different. It is focusing on women who identify with a masculine persona and claim to be, lesbian. Now, I am not against women who like the sexual pleasures of men, I am against the denial of it. If you prefer women, but enjoy a once in a blue moon romp in the sheets for a good night of lustful thrusting, then that is your prerogative.

But to wave a LGBTIQ flag in the air like you own it, and don't tolerate heterosexual sex, is wrong. You are going against the flag and the community that so many people worked hard to put together and fight for. It is like a KKK member swearing by his white brotherhood then creeping in the night to be with a black woman.

Severe? I know. But it's raw, and straight to you live.

Now, let's get deeper....What about butch women who love to have pillow-talks with their feminine lover after a long night of passionate sex and so you lay naked in the sheets sharing your sexy, deepest secrets and they slam one on ya about how horrible men are and shed crocodile tears about their moments with these vicious creatures and each and every sexual experience was raw, hurtful, and forced?  What if deep inside yourself you feel this pang of pain for your butch lover. And all you could do was hold them close, because afterall, men are assholes! Right?

Ok...what if after the 6th man, you begin to wonder if your butch lover is fabricating the events and in actuality they enjoyed the sex? I don't think it would take 6 men to figure out if women is right for you. I think if you been raped by at least 3 men one after the other, you would come to your senses and STOP.

Well, I want to know what causes a female to deny her involvement with men. Some of these butch women have looser vaginas and a very steep and deep entrance to the cave. Extremely aroused, overly aroused and enjoy penetration with a dildo. I have met feminine women who are tighter than their manly counterpart.

So, maybe it is safe to say that butch women identify with a masculine identity but their sexuality is bisexual? So instead of trying to ruin men and their credibility as being sexually attracted to all types of women, it is better to assume the butch has a problem with her sexuality. Not him. Don't blame men for your lack of a phallus. I see it as a phallus envy.

I will not tolerate women telling me they do not like men. And swear they have buddies and that's it. I have watched my ex flirt with men right in front of my face. Sex with men can be pleasurable and I enjoyed some of my experiences, it still didn't take away from the fact that my heart loved and desired a woman more so.

I can't deal with women who deny their sexuality but praise their identity. You putting on a fake facade for the Gay community. Look at me! I'm a butch! Yeah! I will top ya! But then moan and squirm under a phallus on the down low. And dare your pretty little fem girlfriend or wife to want sex with a man. 

Friday, June 17, 2016

The truth about Cancerians.

I've dated a "so-called" lesbian butch who is a Cancer. And let me state some obvious traits about them.

1. They're extremely manipulative. They will take the down to earth, breezy part of you and use it to their advantage. For example, you're in a good mood heading out to run a few errands, and they will use this to get what they need during your daily errands. "Oh! Can you stop at the Mall, I need to get a pair of headphones; I am also a few dollars short, can you "lend" it to me?" And you could be 30 miles away from the nearest mall, since the trip consisted of the beach and a cook out.

2. Emotionally self-absorbed. You could be at a Vigil for the tragedy in Orlando and share your grief with others, like yourself, for the innocent victims. And so you think the tears they shed is for the same cause. Only to find out in the car, they're crying because no one pays attention to their needs and two years ago their grandfather died and one time no one shed a tear for them. (True Story.) And you begin to feel ill inside, because you realize, "Damn, that's selfish!"

3. Pillow Princess/Prince. Okay, so I hear from other bloggers and forums that cancerians are the BEST in bed. I am sorry, but I have to differentiate on that. From my experience they like to get off and if they feel up to it they'll give you some. You can be working it up, being extremely sensual, heightening the explosive orgasm to be the best. But when your turn comes up, you will be surprised. You will be left with a throbbing clit and no outlet. Talk about sexual deprivation. And like I said, will cry and emotionally tear you down if you direct them on it. Massive forms of manipulation, especially in the emotions department. And they lack sensuality and patience during sex.

4. Unfaithful emotionally. The zodiacs and other cancers SCREAM they're loyalty to any listening bystander. But truth is, it's a lie. I've caught my ex on numerous occasions going through Facebook and adding tons of hot, young, Caucasian girls that are in her zone. She completely flipped her cancerian claws at me once she was caught. They will say they're loyal, physically. But emotionally deep inside they're drooling for a chance to pinch someone new.

5. Extremely Possessive. They claim you, you don't claim them. They love when you fight for them and get emotionally all riled up over their secretive seething and backstabbings. You'll never know what is really wrong, until they explode one day while your watching a really cool movie. They will accept the flirting and the continuous lust for them, the instant someone wants you, they become catty. And wondering what is it about you that makes you shine like a sore thumb, they prefer you to be hidden in the sand; while they scout the lurking eyes and bring the attention onto them. Then everything is all good again. They're better off buying a very rare bear and shoving it on a shelf.

6. Big mouths. Now this can be anyone. But from what I experienced in my life, is loyalty. And some form of secrecy to a certain extent, is important. If you are in a relationship and having problems you probably shouldn't blab that your girlfriend likes to wear stockings while humping her favorite bear to people who resent and lack respect for you since day one. (An example, and NOT true.) Or, they will tell other people how they don't like to give you oral sex; when they think your body scent is not to their liking. These type of things are reason for a break-up. So cancerians shouldn't cry an ocean when someone wants to be free of  their claws .After all, you're the one breaking your loyalty codes when you open your flap.

7. Lack independence.  If you ever meet a cancerian who is independent and works for what they want, please broadcast it! I have come across one with not even a pot to piss in and so blindly, I thought it was a good relationship. But I ended up, cleaning clothes, sweeping, mopping, cooking and giving head, without a 50% in return. It is never 50/50 with a cancer.

Their needs over exceeds yours. If you need love, security and even medical help, they will cry and feel like they're not getting their needs met. They will do whatever it takes to make sure they are #1. No matter the cost. (screaming, yelling, insults, police called.) Until you give in and begin to question your reasons for being who you are as an individual. They refuse to get a place of their own, if you ever accept them into your home. They are hard to get rid of!

8. Sexually Promiscuous and corrupted perversion. They purposely default on their personal relationships to justify their sexual hunger. They love and CRAVE attention. Even negative attention and sex.  When they're single, everyone is the one they want. They love aggressive sex, and thrive from sex crimes. They feed off of crime stories such as, Jeffrey Dahmer, And other sadistic rapist and murderers.

You'll always see them with a "good" crime book. If you see them with it, expect to give them sex. It gets their loins going. Guaranteed, they have had far more sexual encounters than a porn star, hell, they might as well be a porn star. Be careful, because they can become ruthless and careless and will fail to use protection. So STD's is common with them.

They love to sleep with people who are in relationships. It's a challenge for them to domineer and stake out those who are loyal and loved. Because, they feel themselves to be lost in the sea, they will take others down with them. I've heard storeis where some cancerians scream, "rape!" when in fact, it was them, who sought out the aggressive sex production.

Secrecy and betrayal is their motto. They thrive from the moon, which refelcts their moods in whichever way the ocean sways. So if you're one not affected by this, by all means, go for it. But, I will not.