Going to see someone

Not sure if I am making the right choices. I mean, what if I don't like what I see? I saw before and was not interested. I am fat but...I don't know about being with a big woman. We'll see how this goes. I just don't know if it's what I want.

I kinda feel like ...No? 

I was in my head the whole time.

What am I sorry for?

How am I sorry when you let your 12 yr old kid ride his bike at midnight strolling through the ghettos of Enfield. CPS came to your house because you lack maternal extinct. What kind of mother goes out all hours of every night to dress like a skank and leaves her two boys to fend for themselves?

Fuck you Chrissy and your lack of morality. You lack the ability to speak up for yourself and your relationships. You lack the ability to love and conquer what you want. I got over your teeth-less ass. I am so glad I see through the smoke with your mental instability. I am not sorry. You fuck your mother and lay in the same bed with her. Nastiness. You like smelling like dirty clothes and lacking personal hygiene.

It's accurate. It's 100% truth. 

I am trying to get my thoughts in order and I think I did just that. I don't care for the trilogy in your Schwartz household. Moving on. moving on. 

Over-zealous spending consequences

Affording things and wanting things are two different things. I can not imagine what it is like to be living in a place that is not your own. 

Anyway, blogs are not fun. they're isolative and poignant. So good-bye while I finish my excel project and set up time to go meet my friends this coming week. I Love Connecticut. I don't know why I left. I really disliked Rochester. I mean, a fat brown man thought he was god and used me for his personal usage and had his nose in the air when his gray sagging draws looked like they were inhaling a cigarette from his flat camel-niggered ass.

Then, I had crazy A...and his antics and neurotic conversations. That blew me into a deep depression where I isolated my mind into obsessing over cleaning and getting the hell out of Rochester. I got my car, and my new place and here I am...

I tried it out with Chrissy, but her psychotic sister, got in between our relationship so I called CPS when her son randomly ended up with a serious head gash and S claimed he fell off his bike. But this was near midnight right after she DEMANDED Chrissy and her mother come home to attend to her. Somehow in the mix of things Chrissy told me she and her mother had sex. And from there on in I was crawling with eeebies- jeebies and serious abandonment issues.

But somehow I was cut off based on the one email I send S in reference to Chrissy's incestuous dilemma. Instead of working it out she cut me off. I flipped the fuck out. Yes. I did. I felt enraged, here she was sleeping with her mama and I was to blame? I couldn't take it anymore. I let Chrissy have it via text. She said to me the next day she was cutting me off and then no more messages. 

I called CPS out of spite. Yes. I do low-blows too. 

So that ended. over. and crossing the new bridge now. Hopefully I won't burn the bridge while my ass is still on it.

Not sure if this is a face up or a face down

Not trying with her anymore. Leads me to a brickwall. I am smoking cigarettes and weed again. fuck it.