Friday, August 19, 2011

Simpleton with sextillion different thoughts.

How do you explain to yourself that some things are better left alone? I realize time and time again I have been a victim of men who enjoy using me for intercourse. Yes. Intercourse. I have a boyfriend of four years with more problems than Obama draining the economy. I mean, this guy has drug issues and hygiene issues and so many others things to mention. I am not going to go into details accept sometimes people think they can overrun society with their deceits and viscous motives towards women. I am going to get my revenge. I am not a 20 yr old hot slut with a brain the size of a grape nut. No. It's more complexed than that. My mind thinks extra sexual activity is fun until afterwards I feel disgusted and confused. Not sure to why I feel this way and wonder if I'll get over it. I guess I will not. If I could just find a way to figure what makes these men do what they do and what can we do to fix this. 

Wednesday, August 17, 2011


I  am extremely tired and worn out I had hours of intense sex. My  boyfriend and I have cheated on each other and I found out the details of him and how he manipulated a 19 yr old girl into sex with him. We were arguing about it, loins were throbbing. I liked it, I admit it. I enjoyed knowing he thrusted his fingers into this girl and made her wet. emotionally I was jealous and angry. But I want to get past this feeling and learn to accept the enjoyments of sex. I realized, he wants longer and more orgasms and sex sessions.

After being together for four years things became dull. We needed to spice it up. So I told him, if you get the urge go out and get it. And I'll give it to you as well if you demand it. And today we did multiple times and no condom. I know I'm risking myself, but I like it, I am thirty years old and nothing else pleases me more than to have perverted sex with my sexually addicted boyfriend. I am too, becoming sexually addicted. As I talk about it, I want it again. He has given me a total of 10 orgasms. Four internal orgasms from his deep and consistent thrust, which hit my G-spot always and two from oral. Then the rest I gave myself while riding him or thrusting my pelvis and grinding into him while in missionary. I want to be sexual all the time not just a few times a week.

I find it hard to believe couples who have been married for 25 + years have NEVER  experienced cuckquean, cuckold, threesomes, orgies, taboo incest, bestiality, S&M.  I have seen people who are married that don't fulfill the urges of each other end up broken and cheated. Life experiences are sexual. I mean look at the vast majority of sex. We need sex to rejuvenate our minds. I am relaxed and hoping to enjoy my sex life. I am not looking for a lifetime partner I have found that,  realize now I was loving prematurely and not looking for my preference in the right places.

I want to be with someone who is "perverted" because it completes me sexually. And while he cheats sexually it gives me room to love others. If he gave me all the love I need I wouldn't want friends, pets and kids. And that would be selfish of him, wouldn't it? You have to share the love amongst everyone. THAT is what life is about. Marriage is a selfish way of life. It keeps two people together away from society so they can't show everyone how love is made, tell me that is not evil.

Monday, August 1, 2011

Funny little imperfection of mine.

Honestly I wonder how some people manage to cope with themselves. I am really thinking to myself how did I end up in Rochester, NY? They are filled with sociopathic, narcissistic, imbeciles. I mean social skills here are very limited and anything that is precisely concessive is relatively falsified with fake smiles and small time agendas. The men here are in some type of a hypnotic trance, I haven't quite figured it out yet exactly what type of trance but it is usually filled with materialistic gluttony.

And of course over eating to cover up the conscience that is slowly trickling away with each thrust of mental fuckery they have going on. I was lucky to even meet a guy from here, he is obsessively connected with me and wants to put his seed into me like the good Turkish man he is, Stifled laughter. And well, some how the puritans managed to make the middle eastern folk feel pure too! I mean we have Turkish men dating pure white women and other middle eastern men fit right into the typical stereotype of rochester.

And of course, they'll never be accepted 100% after 9/11 and yet they feel like they have some type of self entitlement by rejecting any woman of color only women they feel subjected to as their"equals" are, white women. When and how they came up with that idea is beyond me. I think it is time for me to start dating OUTSIDE Rochester, NY. Yeah. I see now no man here is interested in dating women who are of race. I like to think I am attractive, I'm biracial and very good with many things. But when you want to go for the best, that too, fails. Or maybe I'm looking for the WRONG type of right.

Sometimes, men are broken and cannot be fixed, and when a man of color decides to become Uncle Tom he too, gets fucked in the ass occasionally by his white counterparts. Yup. So when someone like myself tries to intervene and show Uncle Tom the right way to succesion I get slapped with rejection because I'm NOT Mr. Tom's  idealistic White statue of perfection. Fuck your mental fuckery, pal. Get off your donkey. No it is NOT a silver white horse. It may seem that way because when you were having animal sex with your white owner she made you feel like a million dollars. And then when your sex rendered useless she then moved on to another more useful animal. Yes. She gets her pussy licked by another slave. sorry.

Truth hurts. I know. But one day when you decide to stop eating so much and find a way to thrive you'll see white women don't want you, they want your culture, your oil money your submissiveness.