Wednesday, June 27, 2012

The exploitation of african children in photographs

Recently, I was looking at some photos online through a page on Facebook and saw some pictures that made me realize just how sick and "naive" Puritans truly are. Exploiting African children's poverty and making it into a charade, pitying this Country they stole from and sucked dry. Africa used to be beautiful and nourished until people stole from the land and made it useful like cattle. Now, They want to do some more damage by selling Children for sex, organs and many other things. When I look at the national Geographic I don't see it as a learning experience I see it as a exploit. Exploitation is when people use others for a personal gain, and have no care if they upset others.

Monday, June 25, 2012

Bitching of the day.

Ah well, here I am again. The only place for me to dump my files that are deemed to be corrupted. Anyway, today lt's discuss the term, "gold digger." A gold digger is a person who digs for your money, your cheddar, your chump change whatever may have you. I was called that in another term after I demanded my shitty boyfriend of four years, who never worked a day since we met each other, someone who lives off his parents. HA. I am nothing of the sort. If I were one I would've left him for a rich man in which I've been offered. Akin only gave me a TV and couches. He let me BORROW the money. I already paid him back with some money I received. I don't like sex with him if I ever do it nowadays it is like once a week and he begs me for it. I feel disgusted as he sucks my tits. I hate having sex with him. I want some fire in my life oh god am I doomed?

Thursday, June 21, 2012


Those are your typical Rochestarian drama queens. They cry, bitch and moan about NOTHING. I mean, considering there is nothing to do here and somehow people have more than can chew mentally. My sister is moving to Florida in two days and somehow these dykes can't control themselves. I mean, I don't care for them or their lifestyles. I like dick very much so and no where near gay. However, they are harassing me as well. I don't care for the mediocrity but it is disgusting how they are and how they operate themselves. They look like this too, uglier to be exact. A vast majority of these females are TOOTHLESS. And obsessed with tanning salons, but don't like people of color. So fucking funny. 

When I was younger I had girlfriends, but dude looking types. I wasn't one to be into chicks really, I was into my therapist and staff from residential facilities. I don't like girls now, I don't think it is healthy to obsess over vaginas. I like the feeling of penetration and the man's warmness and control over my sex. I like how he can feel my wetness and moan as I moan and feel the sensation. A dyke can only daydream. LOL.

So anyway the obsession over my sister is one thing, but it's another to bring up RACE for every fucking thing. It's ridiculous. The white trash women up here think they're the chosen ones and every other race is invalid. When are you going to get up off your ass and realize you're not important. And then some dude calls people phones to harass them is crazy

I'm tired school is busy busy busy. I am enjoying my time in the A.C waiting for my vacation before I start school full time. I can hardly wait to spend all my time in front of Rochestarian people. Whoopee joy joy.  

I met another guy he is awesome but he is younger than me...And I have one of my sister's stalkers on here who is hitting me up on Facebook. I don't like white men. Nor do I like white women. I prefer ....nah. not going to give out that information.

Monday, June 18, 2012

For the moment I loved him

I think now to myself all the things that went wrong and how I could fix the things so next time I meet someone this won't happen again. I'll make sure the next time I date someone he is not on drugs or looking for a way to ruin my life. I did fall for Mina hard. Like my heart ached when he left after we had sex. I felt pained and confused because for a moment in time I thought he and I were going to be an item. Whether it was long term or short term I wasn't sure but what I was sure of is the way I felt. I don't know if I was just reflecting my feelings that I lacked for Akin onto him but it was there, those feelings were undeniable. 

Akin cock-blocked me throughout the whole ordeal. He drama starred in the drama of all that happened between Mina and I. He prevented a great love from co-exisiting. And for that I will get revenge. He moved on with some other skank but prevented me from falling in love or having a potentially successful relationship. I lost every opportunity to be with him and will never get another chance. 

At first I said I was to blame, I blamed myself for everything that took place. I feel in my heart this was a setup from the Devil himself. I was not to be happy but sexually deviant and confused. I think now this time I know what my goals consist of. 

I will get even. Trust me this female will wish she never met him. I will find out who she is. And I can't wait until he humiliated in front of the whole school.

Officially over/ learn how to be a cuckqueaner.

I want to say I am proud of myself for finally ending it with a wanna-be cuckqueaner. I met this pervert four years ago he claims he was interested in me and we hit it off. At the time I lack trust in all men because I want to be in a relationship with a man who is sincere and worth the love and anything else that follows.
A Cuckquean is a woman who lets her man fuck other women whenever he wants rubber or no rubber. I personally don't see the problem other than emotional control. A man who sleeps with other women needs to know how to be in emotional control. If he allows himself to be wrapped up in love with other women it will never work. It'll just show that he is just loose, like a cannon and holds no fort or control. If he shows his love is for one woman and the rest are pieces of luscious sex then we can agree that is the best.

This man I met was none of the such. He cheated, and didn't care. He lied to me about it, filthy sloppy, and didn't have very good hygiene. He didn't ever work since we were together, never took care of his responsibilities. all he cared about was himself, lives off his parents and laughs about it. Steals from me and others. So many negative things I see in this relationship. I rather just opt out and be lonely until I find the right kinda guy. I like perversion but I yearn for loyalty more. So that's the end of that. Had to use his probation officer as a threat to get him off my case. His parents were gone this weekend and he had the house to himself with another chick.

So, now I am single and happy to be. I guess moving on was the best idea yet. So this summer is Florida with my ex husband...yup. gonna fuck. And enjoy it too. I rather sleep with someone I know than a new cock. New Cocks are always like,..."er...nice to meet ya tightness" SQUIRRRT. So that's it in a nutshell.

Or maybe I will meet other guys AHHHH I'm so excited for new things to come.

Friday, June 15, 2012

Constantly in the cue.

One two three...check it.

What is simple? Sex? Love? Money? Pretending? Tell me. I want to know what simplifies things for you. I don't like others thinking for me however a thought of someone else is definitely something I would do. Because sometimes another person's thoughts is never what I am looking for. Anyway, I wrote him a sentence today and he blocked me AGAIN. I find it kinda funny. I probably sets him off deep inside... but to me I'll be on his mind, whether it is good or bad. 

I want him to NEVER forget me. I know somewhere if I dream of him, he must think of me whether it is just a thought or a winced memory. How could two great people not 'click'? He has no idea how good he had it. I mean, I have no attachments to parents, no life long catastrophes other than high sugars and minor cholesterol issues. In which I am fixing by a low cholesterol diet, which deems useful considering my shit doesn't float like it used to. Which leads me to the theory that floating poop means FATTY DIET.

Anyway back to him. I am in College doing things for myself and yet, I am nothing of what he wants. I don't know what he is looking for...never really asked. I mean, he did try to take me out and go places. But after some nookie all that chit-chat subsided...and I regretted him as fast as I blinked. So to note, I am a HIGHLY vengeful person. So if I feel like someone is going to fuck me over, you pay the price. I mean he's lucky I didn't have a car, because my ass would've gotten even. 

If I give you the upmost respect, you will give it back to me. If you don't, then there is nothing for us to discuss and if you do spiteful shit just because you think I deserve to be abused then whatever happens I am not responsible for because as theory of relativity goes, Natural disasters DO occur and can happen in humans. I enjoyed pissing him off. Yup. He is so cocky and secretive and has no interest in other people's thoughts or opinions. 

He joined a dating site and lied so much in the, 'about me' section I wanted to scream through the screen: "LIAR!!!" But I didn't. Only because he sees himself one way and has no intention of changing himself through his relationships. When we date people we change ourselves for the better of others. Why? because we are learning how to be self-less it keeps sanity and balance. Without the ability to interact through others we are deems to anti-social or lacking thereof.  

I see myself as somewhat anti-social but only because I know how to communicate without the help of dummified individuals. I have yet to see one intellectually communicative person in Rochester, NY. If I could just be around others who are open minded and intelligent and can teach me a thing or two about life I then would be sensually stimulated to ideas of life. I like to use my mind to figure things out by words or ideas that make up a possible theory. and make a documentary on it for further study. 

I think personal relationships with people who have been abused or just  socially inept would be a start. Like for example, focusing on people who like to ignore you on Facebook or other social networking sites, but prefer to lurk around on your blogs to read your most private thoughts or ambitions. If you like someone, wouldn't you call them or text them to see how life is with them? Unless you have enemies who prefer to read your blogs and sit back going, "Aha! I knew she was a fucked in the numbskull!"

Well I have news for you, I am just like you a human being with ideas and if some are kinky for you, well then so be it. I am going to continue to enjoy my life the way I have it. I like to be introvert and have perversions or ideas that may be a shock to you. However i do socialize with people at school I just don't invite them over my house. Last time I did that drama followed involving my sister .

Which I will NOT talk about only because it's annoying. 

Monday, June 11, 2012

Thinking of you today

Yes, today I think of you...Divergently so.I wish I could NOT think of you because you didn't think of me EVER. You made a fucking dating site account, like seriously? WTF. I am so mad I could rip the wall with my bare hands. When the thoughts are uttered on paper I realize how stupid I'm being but deep inside I can't hide I truly felt for you. I get fucked, yes. but you were more than a good night fuck. I miss you. Fuck this shit. good night.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Time consumnation

Today  have a little bit of free time, not really but I can manage to gather some free time since my HW is not due until tomorrow. For starters, I love my English class! I want more...more..more! As for Math...I hate my professor and switched to a new one. Yup, he was the biggest asshole you've ever met and I love how people don't personalize it and tend to let people get away with their negative work ethics. I guess I did too, considering how much "power" these professors have, they apparently can write negative commentary on your account whenever they feel up to it no matter if it is false or not.

So, I've decided  I am not going to say anything, because this is Rochester. And I am not going to argue my way through college, if he works there with that type of attitude I am guessing this is common behavior among Professors and so my one comment on him isn't going to change anything. And if I do say anything it could make me look like a whiner. That's how it is here. Anytime you have a conflict it looks like you are a squirmer and can't take the pain.

Communication Skills is deferred here, negatively. If it were a place where you could be sociable where opinions matter and reflects on the way you conduct yourself then, hell, Rochester would be a place of booming business! But no..this city has more murders than a crack alley in Brooklyn. So I think my decision to just keep my mouth shut is best. I went to Student services they helped me drop his ass like a hot pancake and get a different person.

Well I met another guy online through my favorite gaming. DCUO. and we've been friends for about three months. He is really smart and articulate. He is wise beyond his years, a Sagittarius and is going to become a Missionary (Baptist). He is younger than myself, I am 30 and he is 20 years old. Yep..I know.
BIG age difference. Well, I like him. and I don't care about that. He is going into his second year of COLLEGE. I am very psyched about that, he is very patient and listens well. He works part time and does what most 20 yr olds do. So I decided as a gift I bought him a PSN card to continue his legendary membership. His mother owed him ten bucks and decide t pay bills with it. I completely understand the tough times and still feel good about my decision.

He drives already and is working towards independence. I like that. I still care about A...we are still together but I am eager to meet new people even short dating or whatever. I want to be myself without having to change my food taste or looks. I like pork products once in awhile and don't feel like I have to change that for A. I know God loves me he never abandoned me for eating it. In fact he still stood by my side as a child and as an Adult.

I believe we live life to bring notes back to God. To say, "um..yeah we need improvement in this life form on this subject...He'll scratch his beard and go..."Oh, that sounds good!" And so we go forward with it. The whole bringing people back from resuscitation is to try and give life longer so you can try to complete your tasks. As for the death of unborn children is a will of his. I miss my daughter. Yazzie. Terribly. I wonder if I'll ever have kids.