Sunday, December 29, 2013

Dishwalla - Until I Wake Up | Ghost of Sorrow

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Taking the, 'Why' into perspective.

Okay I know people are different, I get it. But to me when dating you have to be able to channel with each other. If you can't channel into each others energy, how do you expect to be spiritually connected? These are the things I ask about my near ending relationship. I like to be in a relationship because I like the bonding. But if it is all about sex and no connection then I want out. Who wants to be with someone they can't socially rely on or at least to bring them up spiritually and mentally? What kind of person doesn't think of other people when they're dating? Why is everything so far away; but yet so close?

When do we grow apart when at one point we felt so close? Is it when you start to know someone? How about people who get married to someone they don't know and then later on they fight and yell because the familiarity of the other person is becoming too real and not what you wanted? We feel like its love when we connect, but is it really? We love only so much in this life, and move on from other people because the energy with that person is depleted. Do we forget the ones we really loved no matter how bad things were?

I still love the same woman after 15 years. She speaks to me but only vaguely. I feel the love in my heart was always genuine and even though she has done things that I don't approve of and vice versa I still feel the love. She told me once in 2011 she didn't love me and never will. I left that feeling at the door. I asked her about it recently and she never replied despite the fact she contacted me via cell. I have to ask myself why is she communicating at all? Sometimes people have motives and are not genuine even though the other person means well and is always supportive through good and bad times. Some people could give a flying shit on how you feel. It is more of a gain on personal wealth that some people prosper from. Its greed. Something you can't have afterlife.

I think materialistic wealth or assets is something you're supposed to share among the living. And then when you pass on you share it with others. The wealth is supposed to bring people closer and make you more appreciative of the physical elements provided to you temporarily. The dollar value is fictional and was meant to trick us to become overly zealous and greedy. If you ever look into all the things God gave us it was purely innocent and loved.

If you love God, like I do I am not into a particular faith at the moment but if I do go back to God I choose Catholic only because I never felt pressured to be anything I am not. I was raised to love God and remember the things he does for me daily. I keep loving those who are empty inside, the ones I loved I try to to transfer gods love unto them. It never really seems to work and I end up being consumed by their mental games and pursuits of lust. I can't say I am not responsible for any of it I do have a perverted mind. But I like to be in channel with my sexual being, which is the flesh of my body which is also a sin because its carnal. And afterlife you do not crave for your flesh, why? Because afterlife is euphoric nothing is as good as being close to the creator.

Sunday, December 8, 2013

Drugs catch up with you.

I was looking at this woman's profile. I knew her from foster care I was looking at one of her many profiles and can see how drugs are now starting to show in her appearance. It shows she has problems she can't control herself. Yet, she thinks she is better than everyone else. I was shocked, am I the only one who isn't addicted to drugs? I am saddened for her and how her life turned out. she has kids she doesn't even take care of. How does someone who came from money turn into that?

Sunday, December 1, 2013

Turkey day and everything else

What was your Turkey day like? I had my sister over with her partner and me and yes..Akin. So I decided to make the Turkey. Afterall I know how to season that bad boy and throw down. Anyway, my sister made other things that weren't so good. It's ok though..we all learn through trial and error.I am now taking the rest of the Turkey and making stock. It smells so good! I am using chicken cubes, and works the best. And after this small blog I am going to make Arroz Con Dulce. Because my sister didn't make it. I probably can do it.

So on a different note I was reading up on History and where certain celebrations and cultural references came from. Such as picnic was a word used by the whites to lynch blacks at the park and kill them and bring home souvenirs from limbs. Also, the racism towards black people in Egypt and Arabic nations is ridiculous because they are black. Actually mulattoes who were mixed with the founding white fathers of other lands further away from Arabic nations and "Africa". Egypt was the land Africans came from and during battles they ended up moving further away. 

I would like to try and be with someone of my own nationality. Someone who is mulatto or at least from the motherland. Not some crazy blue-eyed devil, surely not an American Egyptian who has been Americanized and has parents who would not approve of me because "I am not Egyptian." What an idiot. Doesn't even know his background. Doesn't even know he himself is black, Africa is your closest neighbor, jackass. I am brown like him and I have intelligence. But because I am not "Coptic Christian" which, by the way was adopted by whites. So they're allowing the pale leprosy people to take over their culture and ruin everything they worked for. 

How about white people who don't know the difference between the Spanish foods, most think Spanish food is Mexican. And how about the fact most foods ever made were made with spices? Why are white people trying so hard to make it look like they're the ones who invented technology and foods with spices? When most food was created by ethnicity. Every single continent has culture, love and security. The only people who were robbed of their identity were Africans. No one talks about that. 

So let's get it together people.