Wednesday, August 22, 2012

The funniest player of all time goes to:

Mina ...haha...a different one. Not the other slow one...this guy is actually a real egyptian he was bred in Egypt and not whack -ass Rochester. Well he is a player. straight up n' down he tried me. And  caught him he is making other accounts and doing stupid shit for no good reason. I am deeply hurt but I moved on already and I have MONEY IN THE BAAAAAANK. HAHAHA.

Friday, August 17, 2012

Misbehaved Children/hate rabbits

If a Teenager is out of control parents send them to reform schools such as WWASPS programs.
Now, I heard some tragedies have occurred here and so it appears it is doing more harm than good.
I was a child who ended up in Foster care in similar programs without the harsh punishments. It made me realize how to NOT trust people and not to accumulate interest in activities that can lead to me being in jail or some form of institution.

You learn to clean behind yourself, build a life for yourself and loving people is hard. But knowing how to get to the next level is based on your prevalences in life.
If you never knew this, know it now choices are yours to make. Just because you were raped as a child, or physically abused and neglected doesn't mean you can torture others and forget about yourself. I was abused, and no I don't have parents but you don't see me getting high on crack and destroying other peoples lives. I do have a problem with connecting with others. I don't know how. And honestly why should I? I do regret not knowing what it takes to build a wolf pack from scratch. I could procreate but my biological functions are not in order.

Every time I do get involved with someone he/she is fucking nuts. I am tired of meeting people who are
self harming and drug induced. I cannot fathom how someone can be so fixated on drugs and harming those around them for no good reason. I have a sister who is wrapped in her own head. I offer her a      place to stay for a few weeks and she overstays her welcome by not focusing at the task on hand. She makes her problems my problems and wonders why I snap. She is on medication for mental illness and just stays in my house all day, no motivation. I had given her a deadline and she ignored it.

My on/off boyfriend is just as peculiar, he sits there everyday and gets on my fucking nerves. He argues with me every chance he gets. He holds no communication skills. I have no patience for him today I felt like stabbing him with my kitchen knife on his hand. Stop touching me, stop gawking over me saying how beautiful I am when I don't care to hear that from you. It doesn't ring an emotional connection, I feel annoyed let me give you an example: I woke up to feed my female rabbit, Meelah. her bowls were empty so I went in to clean them and she bit the LIVING SHIT out of my hand, it drew blood. I didn't understand why she did that so I threw water on her head. I was deviated.

He woke up asked me what happened and I told him, "She bit me!" I've never mistreated her I've always been good to her. She has been biting people for no reason and honestly I can't handle it anymore. So I decided to remove her from my home she is stressing me out more than needed. She is aggressive with heelow my male rabbit. He defends himself quite often by chasing her and terrorizing her giving her a taste of her own medicine, which honestly I laugh at because she is a nasty bitch.
So anyway, after she bit me I went ahead and needed my phone and so A had his stupid suitcase he chugs around with him on the floor spread opened with no place to walk, so I zipped it up and propped it up by the bed side. He FLIPPED saying I slammed it. I'm telling you he is NUTS. No one slammed anything, so I said, FUCK YOU!!!! I didn't slam anything, she bit me!" He didn't care all he cared about was his "precious bag" (smeagol voice). I have no space in my house. I want these two bitches out of my house.

And I will get my way. If I have to plot something I will. No more Miss nice girl. I am so sick of Debra obsessing over this lesbian lady who is a bachelor. And loves different women in her bed and she chases after that. I don't see what the big deal is. Anyway, why would you chase someone who is looking for money, hurts women and cheats like breathing air? I chased one guy, he doesn't ever respond to me. And was told he may be homosexual. Anyway I found another guy I like who is 10X hotter, same name and is egyptian. only flaw is he lives in Egypt. He is 22...which is well no men my age are successful. My generation babies were made on crack.(80's) parents beat their kids and now we are the fucked up generation.

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Up late and still fat/desires to be a man for a week.

So I am a person who is in training of her endeavors. I am up past one in the morning sleep deprivation at its finest(exercising). I am losing weight again...but still big. Yep. Only way this lady is going to be a "skinny" woman is if she decides to stop eating the following: 1. Bread. 2. Spaghetti. 3. cereal. 4. white rice 5. ice cream 6. chocolate.

Those are the main things that keep me a-round...hahaha... get it? I want to work out and still eat these things. I want to be thick and strong no way will I be a skinny toothpick. I want meat on my body and I want to bellydance so bad. No reason why I cannot. I am going to join a bellydance class.

I want to do weird things I secretly desire...for example I want to dress like a man for one full week. I want to carry the activities of a man, dress like one, act like one, even do the facial hair...only at night. I want to be a different person, pull away from myself and build the EGO of a man I wanted all my life and portray the charistics of a guy I can never have. A man who would most likely date a woman, preferably middle class with a good education, good credentials in society and has a family. And when I dress like this man I want to pick up women who I know I could never be. Make her world feel complete...then go home back to my own life.

Well I am looking into this and apparently it is saying I may suffer from dysphoria. Ha. I am not out of place it is clearly about my ego and boosting it. I can dress better as a man, I like the taste of it. I love the way a man wears his hair clean cut, I love the scent of him. Cologne preferred and a man has to dress sharp. I will only do this if I can get away with it at a local bar. I don't know if I have the guts to leave my house like that. I want to do it though. And get people going, I'm sure I can get the world to see my life, my desire. I remember back in the day I was big on colognes like Navigator, Gravity, irish spring soap. I remember this gym teacher, Mr. Mahoney and he always smelled sharp. And took care of his appearance he made the ladies woo over him.

I loved it. I wanted to be part of that life. I wore windbreakers and filas and sport shirts. I looked good and of course the women came into my life. When I go in front of a mirror and see myself wearing women clothes I get grossed out. I hate heels. I like em' on other women. The way they bend over and look to the side ...makes me wet.

I am going to get back to being myself. And if guys don't like it. fuck it. I am not going to change. I do like men too that's the thing. I want both.

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Tight vagina and the myths of straight sex

Time and time again I have been told by "lesbians" that if a straight woman has sex her vagina is loose and slutty. Well, guess what? my vagina is tighter than a keyhole and I do have sex with one male person. I actually WANT to experience sex with another man and not the one I'm with. Size doesn't matter to me because I am tight, so it is not an issue. People who have sex with different people excessively may have problems with length and width especially if they're not exercising their kegel muscles. I have intense orgasms so my tightness is a must. I want to experience sex with this one guy I feel like I should save myself for him even though he hasn't spoken to me since Feb. So that must be crazy, right? I can't help how I feel for him even though some indiscrepancies were sought out. I dream of the night I get that chance again to see if sparks fly. Well I guess that is all. 

Sunday, August 5, 2012

When the rules don't apply

I am sitting here thinking to myself what have I done to make myself be who I am and when will I stop allowing this freelaoding bitch to stop coming in my life and trying to suck me dry. For her every five dollars is another 20 I give her. I will not allow it I have a nice place and she is running it down into the ground. Move on and realize that you're homeless.