Monday, July 8, 2013

Not going to do it

I am so sick of your face, EVERYDAY you show up here like a homeless man looking for a place to drop in during the day. You should go to an actual homeless shelter and hang out there. What are you going to do when your parents are deceased? I am pretty sure your younger brother isn't going to stick around and watch you. Time for a change indefinitely; I am not taking your sorry, broke- ass with me anywhere. I have too many things to do and work on. I am tired I have my last week of class and you're just making things difficult for me. Your rotted teeth are an embarrassment, I can't have you walking around with me to professional restaurants or a place of business such as apartment searching looking like a class A bum off of 8th Ave in manhattan. I had cavities and some root canals done because I knew I would like you. I took care of them, I was scared, yes. But what motivated me was you. Wanna know the two reasons?

1. I saw the yellow, brown rotted spots on your teeth and swollen gums and became disgusted instantly. I don't want others to feel that way about me and I am fat so that won't help me. And the way you smile like you have a confidence that is fictional. What are you so confident about? That I am here and you live off of me?

2. When you texted me saying, "You're a grown woman, no need to be scared of a dentist." That line was super surprising coming from a man who lives off his parents, sleeps on a dirty mattress with no sheets, filled up with garbage surrounding him, toenails so dirty; I want to vomit. Asked you time and time again to take a fucking shower. All you do is smile super hard and show me your infected teeth and swollen gums, looks like rotten pomegranates. I don't deserve this, I deserve a good man I am not doing this anymore. Fuck Rochester's dirty codependent men and lying whores.

I am leaving you forever. I will never come back for you, I may write or text,but that is it. I will not allow you to live with me unless you change. Get a dentist, fix your teeth, learn to shower everyday or wash your hair and feet if anything. Obtain a College degree of some type so when you finally look for work you can have it all. With the intelligence you alleged to have you could've done something great with yourself. Get off of Suboxone, gain weight and maybe then I will try again. But I highly doubt any of those things will obscure.

I tried, I tried to make it work, I felt like if I just try and change him, or give him things he will adapt to my world. But no, he is everything I don't want. So it is about that time for me to move on. I am ready to do that. I am going to go now I have work to do.

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