Anyway, let me lead this blog to a point: Akin is something else with his "pretending" to be normal and being 'alright' with me being an independent woman. He likes chaos in a mental way, with his little "mittle -thingies" he does. He tries to seek negative attention from me by "Showing off" that he's in school. He is outside the smoke pit hanging out with a bunch of little kids who are yelling and acting immature. He is such a turn off.I don't care about your little smoking session, this isn't about you. This is about me and my problems with student aid and trying to get that Title IV sent out to me asap. I set up an agreement and expect their end of the deal to be held. I pay 75 bucks a month and they take the hold off my account. I guess these things take time (60 days according to the paperwork). And I am stressed right now because I need to get into classes. He is such an arrogant air head. Then he starts picking a fight with me about why I don't want to answer my phone. I am not in the mood.I just turned my phone off and just tried turning it back on and he calls agains starting with me when he yells he shrills. It is so ghastly and hair rising because he tries to sound dominant and sounds like a skinny rooster with no Testosterone running around the chicken den trying to dominant a bunch of chickens only to get a beat down.
I wanted to date Mina because I felt he is just as much of a mentalist as I am. He is such a coward can't handle a bad girl. Yeah, I'm not a prissy blond living with Mommy&Daddy and always smiling about all the money that gets handed to me. No, I am a 31 yr old woman with ambition and fire.I don't live around people until I feel complete I stay alone, not that I don't like people I just have a low tolerance to bullshit. I am about focusing on getting what I need. I don't like the current situation I am in.
I was looking for a guy on my level then I realized that was not going to work. I am not ready for the dating scene right now. I need to be around people to "feel" things and get my mind going. Mina did help me with that for a short .05 seconds when he came to see me. He is something else too though. He decided to block me from every source of communication. He lives his life through others, he has no happiness of his own because he constantly seeks reassurance through his "circle of horseshit". Why? I don't get it why not do things for yourself. Fuck it, if you like crazy bitches then go for it. All because he got a few calls and some weird emails...this is the internet not real life he takes everything literal and doesn't give people a chance. His mind is fixated on fucking Krystyna. UGH. Why doesn't she just disappear?! She looks like Mr.Bean and looks really weird and boring. Who the hell lives out in Brockport in a trailer surrounded by woods? I mean I can understand the whole peace scene...but sheesh. That's ANTI-SOCIAL. He talks about me...I have reasons for the things I do.
I was deleting a whole bunch of VM off my phone and got a VM from mina. It was actually nice to hear his voice and then all the drama resulting to him ignoring me.. came back to haunt me, so I deleted it. I decided now I am moving on and this time I am not looking back. If he wants to get sucked in by the disgusting attitudes and unsurreal personalities within Rochester, fine. I am not. I will continue to be myself. I will fight to stay alive. I know that I am going to College for two years and then I am out of here. I need this stupid degree and once that's completed I can GET OUT of Rochester, NY. and then hopefully I can meet someone with an outgoing personality in another state someone who has traveled like I have and seen life firsthand. Something about small towns and the people living in it, it is like they all live the same way...in circles of people they "trust". And it's like meeting one person when in actuality you're talking to five or six people in the same crowd. I've lived in solace for six whole years, my mind is stir crazy and I fed on their snobbiness, I am so one inch away from head bumping this lilywhite bitch, Theresa. She is like the shrill voice that shouts from an iceberg in a loud thundering high pitch voice that sends the ice crashing slowly to the ground...and she'll go down with it.
I am tired of how white girls out here think they're superb in their college sweatshirts and small tiny 10yr. old minnie frame. I am telling you, it's like when they hit middle school (Whispered to myself):something in the water...yeah...something in the water that prevented them from hitting puberty. So the whiney little voice this cunt has makes you wanna grab her face and slam it onto a nearby counter space.I am NOTHING like that. And somehow this bitch is cool with Mina...just because she is fucking his brother doesn't mean he gotta be buddy-buddy with the little tramp. She assumed the color of my skin has something to do with my sarcastic whit. I'll show her how I hold the color of her skin true to me, when I peel it off with a cheese grater.
He spammed my cell. Yeah because I spammed him. I guess he feels he is in the right and nothing he did was wrong. I just don't tolerate shit from people all my life I was mistreated and here comes Mina tra..la.la..la skipping along and stopping for a view and..you know what he reminds me of? One of those customers who come in to buy something and you really need the commission and he keeps asking about it and asking..then picks it up then says no..kinda fucking with your conscience. He tries to bargain with an already bargained deal to get you to accept the deal then you lose commission because you agree to the deal...then you find out the next day that he returned the item! and so you lose commission AND a potential sale. THAT IS MINA for you!A picky fucking friend shopper. He settles for the meek tiny white girls who don't have tits or a mind that screams personality. He runs from the site of reality. He had the nerve to ask me to go to a concert all the way out in Syracuse when he stopped speaking to me for 6 mos. -_-...... Yeah.
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