Still thinking of you

I am sitting here taking care of business and cannot get him out of my head...why? I am trying so hard to do things normally without him in my head whenever I think of him I feel the acid in my stomach splashing around giving me gastritis. I have always been attracted to dark personalities and he seems different but...not so much. I need to do something else I am sure he could care less about me.  He made it very clear to me via text that he was not interested in me. I have never chased someone like this. He is still in his mid-twenties I am thirty-one with my own place maybe a twenty yr.old is typical for him I dunno...I think of his sexy smile and can't get over him. He wont answer my text ..nada..zilt

Korn - System (Queen Of Damned)

A slap in the face...AGAIN.

So we hit the wall again. And this time I won. I didn't give into sex I knew he wanted sex and when I didn't give it to him he texted me saying he was no longer interested. I must be a sexual object and when men find out I am more than that they just leave me alone. If I want just sex, I'll give you a call.

Simple little pleasures

When I felt your lips taste mine nothing mattered more than to define you. I wanted to be part of you, and without checking I leaped in the cold waters blindfolded only to see deception as your highest most profound taste of flattery. I left this table, quick and fast. I said, "No way, will my mind be a deck of cards!" I went back to my courtyard and looked at the pebbles in the street afterall this was the life I lived, the life of luxury and nothing more .I now see the prevalent scores in my path are not yours or mine to decipher but the justice of our inner-being that leads to life decisions like a paradox we are closed and repeating itself but never trul existed. How my heart pounds hoping tomorrow is real and nothing else will ever fail again oh, I wanna believe I wanna see why, when, who and what will be my love. Why wait for a reasoning? Why believe you are real? I like to use my mind to see things, find things figure things and work on things my mind never rests nothing is ever forgotten nothing is ever 100% closed out. I hate lies and secrets I want to dissect them figure out what makes a person have a mind so closed off it's a binary file. It's a zipped file kept in a private setting no one can break it. I want to let go of the past onto the present because no one else can be quite like you. Are you my significant equal? Or are you just another person passing into my zone onto the next? Yeah. I guess I will just poke my hand with a fork to wake up from such stupid thoughts. Goodbye.

Cuckquean and perversions part1

So I sit there...I smell her cunt. Yes. My husband's many sluts, this one takes the cake. Her pussy is slippery and soft and wet. Not super tight like mine. No, somewhat loose and very orgasmic. Something my husband prefers on the side, my jealousy is overwhelming but yet... I like it. Knowing he is going to touch every corner of her thick bodacious body and make her feel the way he makes me feel, only better because she responds better primitively to his needs. She does whatever he commands willingly without doubts or judgement or shyness. I watched as she opened her legs widely to receive his animalistic thrust of pure lust. I could hear the wetness of her cunt, sloppy sounds they made as he goes in and out of her, her guttural moans of passion and yes...she was a whore. She enjoyed sleeping with other women's taken men it made her the queen of his desires. She has done this over a hundred times. Anna was her name a 26 yr old spanish woman. She started young, as a young teen she discovered her lust for older men her teacher was her first. He would blush as she hand in her work because her breast...Ah...yes her breast. 34F. Yes big large areolas and large nipples my husband had his mouth mounted over them as he moaned closer to orgasm...she just kept on having vaginal contractions when he would lick her nipples in counterclockwise and vice versa his balls ached as she did this. she didn't have to get on top to thrust herself to cum, she did it naturally like a hiccup. And he was crazy about her oversexed body. So I decided to let her live with us...to become his number one slut.

Anna was a victim of horny men, ever since she began to develop breast early men would gawk at her and rape her with their eyes. She has no choice but to accept it and with that she realized she liked it. Her teacher told her to stay after class. Mr. Thatcher told her it was because her grades were slipping. She was concerned and did just what he asked...and more. He couldn't keep his hands off her she begged him to stop but he touched in a way where it was pleasant and very arousing. Anna loved to masturbate but did't for a few days because of a test she had to get done so her clitoris was throbbing and it definitely was aching so she spread her legs a little and he rubbed for her in a circular motion making sure to put pressure on the lips to give it the equal amount of satisfaction he planned on giving her. See, Mr. Thatcher was a pervert, should be jailed if you ask me but ...the girls liked it, shamefully sometimes disgusted but when they think of the way he applied pressure to their groin made them keep quiet in shame and pleasure. He was many of the girls first experience. He knew this and smiled quirkily as he rubbed Anna thinking of all the teens he exploited he made sure they orgasmed, after all it was his ultimate power. Her panties were getting very damp he slipped her panties to her ankles and spread her legs apart getting on his knees he put his mouth on her mount spreading her lips with his tongue and diving in oh her pussy smelled of sweat and pheromones. anna breathed in deeply accepting his invading tongue. he lashed about she felt the familiar feeling she feels when she is about to orgasm from masturbation. He grabbed her breast and licked her nipples just the way my husband did, softly and forcefully Mr. Thatcher pushed his large pulsing cock into Anna, grabbing her luscious ass with his big hands she grind against his cock her enlarged clitoris rubbing into his pubic bone...so good...she moaned
in continuous motion he laid on her as let her rotate her hips on his dick listening to the sloshing sounds of her tight pussy... she orgasmed her body shook and with his mouth on her breast they too, jiggled in his mouth causing him to cum hard inside her. his hips locked as she trembled under him. And this continued for several years daily she was a subject of sexual lust. He would do her in public bring her to his house while his wife slept in the next room...sometimes he show her videos of other girls he was doing and have her watch the videos as they had sex. She began to love this and demanded more. He showered her with gifts and even offered her to his mates. She happily obliged.

The men she slept with were all married and middle aged men with very big libidos. Some men were freakier than others but all perversions. When my husband met her he met her through these colleagues. All these men made sure they married women that would be subjects of this humiliation. They knew their husbands were perverts and when they had sex with their husbands they would remember how good their husbands would come for these loose, trashy women. Somehow they liked it. Carol Wichenstein remembers Anna. Anna scent was all over her husbands, John's cock. She sucked on him and tasted her sweet cunt...she hated it and loved it at the same time her small swollen labia ached for her juices inside her. Thy were wealthy and she knew she had to please her successful husband he was great in the bedroom and she knew she couldn't get it anywhere else. She happily rode her husband moaning Anna's name as she satisfied herself to climax. Her husband videotaped this and showed Anna, she then had multiples orgasms with John.

So here we are in my house and my husband lying with Anna her scent lit the room like a forest fire. So strong  she knew she was being watched by me. I was in the closet bound to a chair to watch him satisfy this slut. Her long dark hair centered down her back, her hips thrusting her ass arching as she rode my husband I had a vibrator inside my cunt forcefully put there by Anna to make myself cum, no pleasure from him, just to watch. My life is a movie in this closet and I was enjoying it. Anna had a control button that adjusts the settings on the vibrator. She pressed stop and go as she rode my husband up and down ...so I would be in rhythm of her. I was having multiples the first time in my life I was orgasmic in more ways than one. I loved my husband because he and I have a relationship in where I knew what we lived for. 

So this is it.

I am so tired today I had to go to Social Services and get a temporary I.D card because my wallet was stolen. I found out someone tried to use my Visa card but because I marked it at stolen it was a red flag at the desk of wherever it was going to be used. I lost a really good wallet. I am going to replace it with another one but the idea that someone violated my personal space once again..I am really ready to move out of Rochester, NY. I financially cannot afford it and wish I had a roomate who I could trust...actually I want a husband. I was married before and it was all well and good until it occurred to me he was not for me. 


I am getting tired of A**** Yes. He and I are not clicking once again the flame has gone out. I need excitement. I need to feel happy and this isn't it. Here is the sloppy side of it all, I was given clomid to help me ovulate. Oh boy. And I haven't even started the treatment. Because I do not want his kids. I feel bad about it all, but I don't. The idea of having children with a man who can't even get himself to a doctor when he foot starts oozing weird substance from his big toe is a no- go for me.


I don't know if I can handle being like this anymore. He doesn't work, neither does the rest of Rochester, NY. And I want a geeky guy I can laugh and get crazy with. I am not perfect by all means but I don't need someone who doesn't think at all. If you have a virus on your computer that keeps humming like the end of red robin's commercial and crashing for no good reason I think it is time to a virus scan and a windows update not sitting here like a fifteen yr old overclocking the sucker isn't going to work. 


I am bitching. Yes. Because every time I try to build a life for myself something bad happens. I don't want kids with a boy. I want a good man, someone who is really into me despite my lack of a college degree and trust me I am on the bounds of success with that. Besides, College leads to Debt. Proven fact. A vast majority of society goes to college and leave with a degree, empty pockets and a shitload of debt. Did you know a Federal employee such as congressmen doesn't have to pay back student loans? What gives? 

Oh- MY WALLET IS GONE!

I lost this most precious wallet ever made in man-kind. Someone who was behind me at the local pharmacy looked like a dark skinned thuggish man but indeed was a woman. This was in the lovely little city of Rochester, NY. I was talking to the pharmacist about infertility and my dose of clomid to help me pop out little ones and my current appointment with Strong hospital on my HSG appointment and why is it so important to have a menstrual so early on into the test. Anyway, after that I felt a set of beady eyes burning into my skull so I turned and this woman was giving me the illest look ever. So I quickly excused myself without looking back on the counter. I never received a yell or anything from the pharmacist or the woman. So I am hoping one of two things. 1) I will call tomorrow first thing to see if  my wallet is there. 2) If the thug stole my wallet I hope she does, when Western Union calls me to tell me my money order was cashed in I can go ahead and file the police report for a stolen money order and look at her right in her face and call her every filthy thing in the book because I would have the legal right to do so. AND watch her be humiliated in front of the judge on petty larceny, a felony. Maybe I'll take a picture and show all the bloggers in the world WHY racism and prejudice is so prevalent and WHY people of a higher economic status do not like quibbering with lowlifes.