Beyoncé featuring Sean Paul - Baby Boy ft. Sean Paul

Baby boy, you stay on my mind
Fulfill my fantasies
I think about you all the time
I see you in my dreams

Baby boy, not a day goes by
Without my fantasies
I think about you all the time
I see you in my dreams

Ah, oh, my baby's fly, baby, oh
Yes, no, hurt me so good, baby, oh
I'm so wrapped up in your love; let me go
Let me breathe; stay out my fantasies

Ya ready gimme da ting dat ya ready get ya live
And tell me all about da tings that you will fantasize
I know you dig da way me step da way me make my stride
Follow your feelings, baby girl, because they cannot be denied
Come check me in a night and make we get it amplified
Me have da ting to run da ship 'cause I'm go slip and I'm go slide
And in the words of love I got ta get it certified
But I give you da toughest longest kinda ride, girl

Baby boy, you stay on my mind
Fulfill my fantasies
I think about you all the time
I see you in my dreams

Baby boy, not a day goes by
Without my fantasies
I think about you all the time
I see you in my dreams

Picture us dancin' real close
In a dark dark corner of a basement party
Every time I close my eyes
It's like everyone left but you and me

In our own little world
The music is the sun
The dance floor becomes the sea
Feels like true paradise to me

Baby boy, you stay on my mind
Fulfill my fantasies
I think about you all the time
I see you in my dreams

Baby boy, not a day goes by
Without my fantasies
I think about you all the time
I see you in my dreams

Baby boy, you stay on my mind
Baby boy, you are so damn fine
Baby boy, won't you be mine?
Baby boy, let's conceive an angel

Top, top, girl
Me and you together is a wrap, dat girl
Driving around da town in your drop top, girl
You no stop shock, girl
Little more da dutty, we'll rock dat world

Top, top, girl
Me and you together is a wrap, dat girl
Driving around da town in your drop top, girl
You no stop shock, girl
Little more da dutty, we'll rock dat world

Baby boy, you stay on my mind
Fulfill my fantasies
I think about you all the time
I see you in my dreams

We stepping in hotter this year
We stepping in hotter this year
I know you gon' like it
I know you gon' like it
I'm stepping in hotter this year
I'm stepping in hotter this year
So don't you fight it
So don't you fight it

Finally moving and found a place.

I found a place that is upscale and right next to my College. I was told before I could go there from the rental company but refused due to insecurities and uncertainty. I have been doing fairly well and would like to upgrade myself. I feel like I deserve it I am trying hardi n School but need to try harder. I want to go to university right after this school and so I can put my Diploma on the damn wall and tell people to STFU I went and got an Education. Anyway I am up again tonight anticipated about moving to a quieter place where intellect is all around me. I won't have to worry about going outside and seeing ghetto hood-rats wearing pajama pants smoking weed. Someone told me this used to be an all white apartment complex. 0_0. And they refused to take in black people.

Yeah...about that. 

If it were the case that it was an all white complex well there is a good reason they kept it the way they did. It used to be beautiful and now it is run down. When I moved here it was really pretty. I know people who visited me and told me so. Anyway, further way from Greece and Gates and closer towards Henrietta. I don't want to ever live in the City of Rochester ever again. I will kiss anyone's feet, so I don't have to. I actually live on the border of Rochester and Henrietta. But the line splits it from the Suburbs.

 I purchased a $300.00 entertainment center for the living room since I had all my electronics on top of barstool chairs, how ghetto is that? For awhile I kept buying other things first. Like a winter coat instead of a kitchen table or supplying my sister with money in hopes she'll return the favor later in the month. Yeah fucking right. That is wonderful fairy tale I got fed up with that one and decided I will buy what I need for myself first.  The E.T is really nice,  cherry wood and not made out of plywood like some cheap products. Its huge and has two side shelves separate from the actual entertainment center. Matches the coffee table and the beige corduroy  couches.

 I had a friend who was supposed to help me out with draperies from Egypt. He never managed to send them due to the revolution over there which has been going on since Horus was president and his wife, Isis was first lady. The question remains if I can put the thing together myself because Akin doesn't do well with putting objects together. Always ends up wobbly, he insists he can do it and I explained to him "you need to bring out the drill and make sure all objects are put in its place properly." any signs of distress I am calling it quits and grabbing the drill, God gave me two arms and some tits but if he can't do it better let me hold the pants in the relationship then and have him go bake a damn cake. 

I have a 50" inch 3-D TV that is embedded firmly into the wall-mount so I don't think were in any danger there if for some reason the E.T tilts to the side and collapses. (Just Joking) IF that happens then we know a $300 E.T is cheap nowadays. I will test it out if it looks cheap then I will look for a different brand. I always liked Raymour and Flanigan and interested in some of their products. 

Now for the Rabbits- they have to go. I loved them for awhile, but not anymore. Oh my God I had a memory where my rabbit jumped on M's lap out of nowhere like a cat. :-D I'm laughing to myself because he was like, "OHKAY." Anyway- They're tearing at my carpet and I can't let them do that in my new place. So I have to get rid of them now. I keep trying to see if people want them but no one has answered my ads. So they have to go to a farm. 

Moving out

I decided it is time to move out of this shitty Apartment complex. When I first moved here it was beyond gorgeous. The trees had pink blossoms the grass was so green roads were clean and quiet. Now it is a upheaval mess, They accept DSS/welfare now so all types of people moved in here. I am deviated at the amount of trash found outside.


Here are some pictures of the garbage I am subjected to seeing daily. After Christmas yesterday this was the worse.

And here is another one:

I don't think it is necessary for tenants who pay rent every month to have to suffer like this. But of course we get ignored and have to live with rats coming around. I am done writing this is only upsetting me. I am in the process of looking for a decent place to live. The longer I am black in Rochester, N.Y The more I beginning to see I am not wanted here. 

Monroe Community College hidden complaints.

The statistics of this School being one of  "highest" ratings for Rochester, NY is bologna. This school is known to have high drop out rates, constant students failing the courses due to criticism of the Professors. These Professors are not there to help you graduate to the best, they are there to make sure you fail it brings money into the school. If every student passed its course the school wouldn't have as much money. If you want to go to College you're better off going to an online course or go to another state such as Connecticut they have a good conduct record. I went to High School in CT and did very well. I love Connecticut and seriously hate Rochester, NY. Look around the place is in the slums.

Racism on the Brighton Campus MCC/fuck this life.

I worked hard in my classes and studied exceptionally well in my English course and somehow landed a C+ in that course. How is that even possible when most of my papers were graded with A's and B's? Although towards the middle of the semester I noticed I received two D's on two  of my essays even though I looked at other people's papers and saw similar grades no matter the race. I just get this uneasy feeling I was still targeted because I focused on my work I don't agree with it. I am not going to flip out but I am going to take that course again and probably go to the Damon campus next time. More black people and less snobby white girls there. One thing I can't stand is a snobby white woman. A woman who feels she has "white privilege." 

      I have a long way to go this is just the beginning and I have to work harder maybe my attendance has something to do with it? I missed a few classes I  am not going to do that in the next semester I will bring my grades up and fight hard. Because in these hard times life doesn't have space for failures. I wish I could call Mina and ask him how he did it, but he doesn't even talk to me. One email and then nothing else he doesn't even like me so that would be inadvertently stupid.My emails aren't viewed as welcomed or silently appreciated, No I don't even get that what I got was, "I don't like your emails spamming my inbox." 
       
                  Despite all of that I once wished sometimes we were good friends because he was a level headed guy someone who had common sense and very organized with his thoughts and plans He is the kinda guy you go to for a homemade calendar of how your days should go for the month. Even though I hate him for rejecting me and treated me as an invalid because I suffer from chemical imbalances of the brain...he still has good social skills. Something I lack severely, the more I get around educated people the more I shy away and isolate myself even more.

          I hate being me. I hate having this personality with this dumb body. I hope I die soon because this isn't going well for me. I will never have the life I want no matter how far I get I will never be happy. No man will ever want me except for Akin. Yeah he is all up in this ass but that's it. No level headed guy would enthusiastically  look over at me and think, "she is great!" I love her flabby body, her kinky hair and her roller-coaster emotions and distorted mind and her wonderful lisp and speed talking! Sounds like she is running for the marathon, I love it!" Yeah...NO.

This life was picked out of a box of trash and handed to me to have. I came out ass first to the world because this life was shitty and I knew it. So if people worship satan you got to wonder why. Because God is an infliction of a fairy. He may not be answering me but I may be answering myself. He doesn't love me he despises me because he shows me this every day by reminding me of my birthmother and giving me this stupid body with many illnesses. I can't have kids every other month I think I am pregnant, I have no Father no relatives to go to for the Holidays. I have a twin who is an addict and likes to use me. So YEAH where is the love? The moment I was born I was nothing. No one in this life has ever truly loved me as a person for being who I am it seems like its better to be fake and unusual. I don't care about "god's laws." he violated mine! He violated me when he allowed strangers to molest me as a baby and not take the time to protect me. In this world we live in science and in science this is normal for men to crave innocent pseudo sexual children they crave the idea that they can mold an innocent to their sexual biddings. And so it lives on and so will murder and trade. The only sin in this world is believing in this "bible" that takes over the minds of the world. If god can give children to rapist(human trafficking have dozens of babies) and child porn and sweatshops then I know my lack of having children is just as evil as those who rape them and disregard them. funny how the system allows only wealthy to do people adopt children because that is also part of the human trafficking world. fuck america.

R.I.T my next goal

I know it is late, 1:33am to be exact but I couldn't sleep when my stomach hurts and the fear of being pregnant keeps creeping up on me. I don't want to be pregnant again and I love sex but the idea that I could be kinda terrifies me. I took the test negative big relief until the pregnancy symptoms didn't disappear and left me with other fears like Cervical cancer or Ovarian cancer. However I noticed that big swollen breast isn't one of the noticeable symptoms in Cervical or ovarian cancers. But it is noticeable in pseudocyesis I keep telling myself, "you're NOT pregnant!" And yet...that nagging pressure and lower back pain just won't stop. I will go to the Doctor tomorrow and why the fuck does Blogger keep changing my font setting within every sentence stupid retards.

         Anyway, I was told my breast were heavier like logs, and that can still be a symptom of pregnancy. I had an Ectopic a few years back so I think that kinda stuck with me but we will see if i am indeed pregnant, kudos to me, but this guy named Mina from Egypt is supposed to visit me this summer coming up (not HIM...a different dude) And I don't know how he is going to feel knowing I may be knocked up. Yeah, he might not like that too much, he is definitely sexy. But...he has a kid and tries to lie but its better that he has some hot secret keeps me guessing. Then again, I never know he may think preggo women are hot, hot, hot! I want to cook right now, I want to make chicken gravy with dumplings mashed potatoes, cornbread and a cold salad. I can make my own dumplings. Fried or boiled...don't matter.

Anyway I have a headache my tv is blaring because I don't want to hear my stalker coming to my window. sometimes I don't like being alone I like to snuggle and feel appreciated and safe. Why do I keep sleeping with akin. He wont let go and honestly I don't know anyone who fights for me the way he does. Most people I have met in my life are douche bags and don't even care about me because I don't have long legs and a petite body and live a comfortable lifestyle if I had long hair and perfect speech with a beautiful bank account and confidence men would swoon over me like they do to Rihanna and other celebrities. Anyway Akin doesn't live with me and I don't know what else to do. I haven't met anyone else since two summers ago. I refuse to try again because of the commentaries that were spiteful and negative however I like a bad boy type, I've never done good with goody goody guys. I like my men to be strong and dominant I just wonder if I'll ever get that 'crush feeling' for a guy like I did awhile ago.

I am really tired today I finished my last final from the looks of it I did pretty good. (saw other people bubbled in the same answers when I brought my test up) I tried to focus and don't know if friendships will ever happen with me and others. I am thirty-two ears old, and if I was meant to have friends it would've happened years ago. I just gave up on it. I only focus on school and if I meet people who are my type I will try and hang out but it never works out. I don't get text messages or phone calls from people because I don't feel a connection I feel tired from trying. I just gave up. I am lonely but no one takes the time to reach out so I don't either. Anyway, RIT is my next goal. Goodnight I am beyond exhausted and its making me angry.

Usher - Climax

Going nowhere fast. We’ve reached the climax.
Were together now we’re undone.
Won’t commit so we choose to run away.
Do we separate?
Don’t wanna give in so we both gave up.
Can’t take it back. It’s too late.
We’ve reached the climax, climax.

I've fallen somehow, feet off the ground
Love is the cloud that keeps raining down.
Where are you now? When I need you around
I'm on my knees but it seems we're

Going nowhere fast. We’ve reached the climax.
Were together now we’re undone.
Won’t commit so we choose to run away.
Do we separate?
Don’t wanna give in so we both gave up.
Can’t take it back. It’s too late.
We’ve reached the climax, climax.

I gave my best, it wasn't enough
You get upset, we argue too much
We made a mess of what used to be love.
So why do I care, I care at all, at all, at all, at all

Going nowhere fast. We’ve reached the climax.
Were together now we’re undone.
Won’t commit so we choose to run away.
Do we separate?
Don’t wanna give in so we both gave up.
Can’t take it back. It’s too late.
We’ve reached the climax, climax.

You say it’s better if we love each other separately.
I just need you one more time
I can’t get what we had off my mind,
Where are you now? When I need you around
I'm on my knees but it seems we're...

Going nowhere fast. We’ve reached the climax.
Were together now we’re undone.
Won’t commit so we choose to run away.
Do we separate?
Don’t wanna give in so we both gave up.
Can’t take it back. It’s too late.
We’ve reached the climax, climax.