Every thing he does gets on my nerves.

I am playing DC and Akin just gets on my fucking nerves. I thought if I try other things with him things will get better. Well, No. they just get worse. Let me break it down.

1. I don't know what tier 1 armor is and what it looks like. So my friend was trying to tell me on his headset where to go. Here comes loudmouth ..this is how it looks. My friend: Just go down here-
loudmouth: IT IS THIS COLOR AND LOOK LIKE THIS AND BLAH BLAH...
first of all dude...turn your volume down and stop cock blocking. I flipped. I'm like, turn it down.
and I was asking my friend what to do. He is the one with Tier two armor on. Shit. fuck. I wanna punch something I wanna scream.

2. Navigation and direction. He has to CONTROL every fucking thing. He gave reins to my friend to be group leader to go do the daily vault(you get free armor which can boost your Combat rating) then my friend wanted to go into an arena so I did then of course akin has to just speed through everything. You can't do that in an arena. I got knocked out like three times because he just didn't stick together. I flipped out. And signed off. He won't stop texting me he won't leave me the fuck alone.He keeps coming over my house even when he is not welcome. I can' even go to school to take care of class stuff without him up my ass. We have a R.O and he doesn't give a fuck. I wanna just leave Rochester because I know I'll never be able to meet another guy or make friends without him being objective and loud.

I decided to stay logged off for the night. I want to go to Florida but NOT with him. He will embarrass me throughout the whole trip. He smokes too much, he is demented. Like for example I was telling him about how aluminium is being released into the clouds aka chemtrails and is making us sick. He has NO CLUE on this matter and says it is false. But Yet Nasa released a statement on it saying it is true. HA. And I felt a sense of rage come over me. I see now what everyone else sees. He is disgusting inside and out. He is not a good person. He uses money and perversion to get his way. Without it, he is hopeless.

He gets into married women's beds to fulfill the void in his life. He is a burden and I fear I will not be able to get rid of him. I may have to leave Rochester to get away permanently.

Leaving negative commentary on your Financial Aid account

Now if I am not mistaken I am pretty sure ethical laws still apply to people who work in Government buildings. I had an argument with a condescending secretarial woman who worked at the F.A office at my school whether she was wrong and I was wrong is not the issue. This was well over two months ago, I filed a complaint with head of MCC and so her boss contacted me and said he would deal with the situation. Well, it wasn't dealt with and she ended up writing a commentary on my account saying I was rude and violent. I'm like, "Are you serious?!" I was told by a nice lady at the F.A office, she was confused and unsure as to why this was going on. And that this was unethical. And so I contacted her Boss via email and let him know about this commentary. Let's see what he does about it. I also let him know if this continues I will file a restraining order against her;she is abusing power and people like that should not work in customer service or any educational setting that involves someone else's personal financial information and she is going into my account posting remarks that were not 100% accurate. If she wants to try and taint my college experience I will go ahead and file a report against her and then show it to the Dean. Or better yet I'll get people to sign a petition based on her work ethics and rude customer service. I speak to you with respect and deserve the same back. If you don't like your job, quit.

I know one thing, you won't speak to me as if I am dirt under your shoe. not gonna fly with me.

I fucking hate Rochester, NY.

Plus sized models and bras.

I am looking around for some really good plus size bras. I am a big woman and so bras are really hard to find for the right fit and the right type. I end up spending less money on obvious crappy bras. It seems like large women have to pay TWICE the amount for a good bra. That seems discriminatory and should be against sales ethics. These bras I buy are at places like Walmart. I am on a budget so spending $40.00 on a bra seems excessive. And so I settle for the $25.00 bra which is STILL expensive to me. And THOSE bras are crappy. Either the strings on them don't tighten enough, and so they sag at the shoulders, make my boobs look droopier than they already are so what is the point of wearing a bra. I once bought TWO maternity bras (couldn't tell) And they fit wonderfully accept for the plastic clip in the front. It pushes into my skin and hurts and leaves marks around my breast. I want comfortability, not hostility. I need a pushup incentive I went online and the only places I may have to resort to is  Lane Bryant, JCPenny, or Ashley Stewart. So as I was browsing the  Lane Bryant bra catalog they had "plus size" models. HA. what a joke! These women looked like normal size women from the 1960's. They are not plus sized, but the average petitie women from the 60's.

I'm shocked and appalled that the only fat store we have is loaded with skinny models. How is that okay? Why is the media pushing this skinny frail idea towards us? Are they trying to eliminate food sources so we'll die off? I think they're trying to say that, "Hey! starve yourself, it is okay!

Desperate men who resort to personal ads for girlfriends.

I am here to write a small blog about men who search for women on personals. I steer clear of those. For one of the many obvious reasons. 1. If a man cannot charm a woman face to face or lure her interest in any physical form you have to ask yourself what is it about this individual that would lead to the last resort to, online dating? I am not trying to be funny I just think it is kinda sad. ...and funny. I never really had a hard time finding a date, but found them when I least expected it. I met two guys online. One was out of a mistake...I was using a cartoon online character for fun when I met my current BF. I wasn't looking to date I was married at the time!

And anyway when me and my BF were having problems I wanted that loving feeling again, like a fire of passion. So I met some other guy online and THAT was my worst mistake ever! So, online dating is not something people should do, I think a lot of those guys are pricks.

I mean, some are married, crazy, with kids, liars, rapist, addicts, felons and losers. So far I think I've covered the bases. If a guy cannot meet a girl he is equally attracted to in reality then the SMART women know the deal, if you're a jerk. So to me in my opinion these men are looking for someone to take advantage of. Whether it's fun or games, more so... just sex or to play head games.

Now you could meet someone at school then that would be something interesting. Also, look into his ex girlfriends or wives. Nine times out of ten he is still doin' her if he is online looking for some action. Or she is recovering herself from the bad relationship that her photos probably would resemble the crap he put her through.

Men who don't open up about themselves are the ones with red flags. BIG red flags and should not be taken lightly. Many times people think it is nothing when a guy doesn't open up about themselves. When in actuality it is something that could be serious. Like sociopathic behavior or some type of psychoanalysis that was done to them to determine why they are cut off from emotion. Ok.. goodnight. I am exhausted.

When you say, Go! I say, Wait! Not yet!

I aways wondered what is the obsession with men marrying or dating women who are clueless to life? And only live to fulfill the reproduction prophecy? Whatever happened to meeting a woman who can travel to many places with her mind? I miss seeing intelligent men who are mentally driven to grown further with life.

I will admit I prefer middle eastern men that are intelligent and american speaking of course! I just don't like it when my mind keeps drifting off...to him.Why? Why is he in my  head. He doesn't like me, he doesn't want anything to do with me. It hurts still and I want to get over him, what do I do. I miss his scent, his hair...oh god, his hair I loved it. I could see myself with this guy having his kids and being old together. He wanted dates and fancy places. I am a hermit. I admit it I go out to school and places but right back here. I don't like City lifestyles, however I'll go visit and come right back to the suburbs. I like my peace and quiet. I am not a fast go lucky kinda person, however I will put up a fight when someone is wrong.

I like going places when I want to go. I'm not an outside person. I have my reasons with one of them being I am mostly deaf, not completely because I have 40% hearing. But treated like dirt growing up has made me hyper-sensitive and paranoid to other humans. and not to mention large crowds of people who are obnoxious busy bodies make me nauseous, dizzy and anxiety kicks in. I am also fat. Yep. So that doesn't help me any.

However, when I am around other invalids like myself I tend to feel secular and more confident and give others the same false hope I was given, not in a mean way but more like let's make this false hope a reality. and so I go back home to my DCUO world and live as a super hero or villain depending on the mood. When you're bullied growing up it is a disease it leads to you becoming similar to your abusers. Now kids that bully other kids are being bullied at home or by someone they trust.

So unhappiness is what we are facing here. And it will not go away just because you have a new job or won the lotto. It'll be there permanently cored in your subconscious that eats away at you because deep down you've been skull fucked. It is the truth. And sadly, no one wants to admit it like, "Hey, yeah Big Joe used to put my tighty- whites over my head and hang me from my locker, so now I do it to my 5 yr old son."

Well I am off to do laundry and relax no school today. I got my books and I am quite content with my choices. I want to be over excited but then is that the way people normally behave over education? I want to earn a doctorate. I know I am at the bottom of the sea next to spongebob but hopefully I can arise if I live that long.

Final step ...BRIGHT PINK SPANDEX.

I woke up with a massive headache, must be from playing DCUO all night well I managed to get up and get ready to grab my school books for the summer. Crap cost me $310.00 for only three USED books and some supplies. A- was rushing me like I'm labeled with a timestamp about to expire. I came here to get my stuff and go home but after his pushing and irritable mood I decided to sit here and write in my blog and tell him how things are going to go. No need for him to rush me! We had lunch, he has finals and so go smoke go eat and go take your finals. He is so unprepared for everything. He is a speedster with no time dial, he makes you feel like you are on a roller-coaster going downhill with no breaks..And the only thing you can hold onto is his balls and that doesn't even begin to ease things. 

I think when you live under a strict controlled environment you tend to be erratic when freedom becomes available to you so I have to understand that. Anyway, As I am writing this blog we have three large African american females three tables away from me laughing like hyenas in a public community college cafeteria. Why? Shouldn't you be discussing finals or better yet registering for a class on Human interaction and social public relations? 

Things like that make me cringe and wonder how doomed is our nation? When will we teach our young children that we are civilized and learn to control your emotions in public. How bout dress codes and common sense on how or what to wear when you're out in public? For example, if you are a large woman  like in the XXXL's department you shouldn't wear bright pink spandex outside or in ANY public place. Especially in a predominantly suburban white Community College. I am biracial, and have decency and class. I know certain things should not be worn. 

I was in line ordering my lunch in the cafeteria and this chick almost made me drop my lunch, her spandex was so bright....it was embarrassing. I couldn't fathom what possessed her ghetto ass to think this was acceptable? She kept blocking me from getting to the register like she wanted me to see her over sized pink -ballooned- ass. It was pouring out of her pants like, "please get me the fuck out!" I wanted to go to the bookstore and get her a pair of sweatpants. 

They need to fix the dress codes for schools including colleges. It is distracting, and not in a good sense either. So when I am in Human anthropology I'll picture the damn Rhesus monkey shaking his baboon ass at me....so YES it can effect your grades.

 

One thing after another

So I am writing again. And maybe I don't want to but I have to say I don't care for the mediocrity and the senseless thoughts of pure dumbness I am going to head out to Florida and fucking enjoy myself. I might as well.